I seriously had a great time watching this film from the year 2000. It’s like from the future or something, we never do get a date but I think like 2060 or something, I really had a hard time paying attention to little details and I’ll explain why in a second.
So although the special effects aren’t even half bad for a fifteen year old movie: to the left here is AMEE a military robot with an AI that can really kick your butt. Back on track effects aren’t too bad, little bland in areas, the uniforms looked pretty odd and what not. Like I said in the title keeping track of anything in this film was a difficult process.
Anyhow, here’s Tom Sizemore looking only half coked out and about to blabber on about something or other, he’s supposed to be a Geneticist, then mention a nucleotide under the letter “P”, I don’t remember that from biology… It’s not that I can’t keep track of a film, but it’s little details and stupid nonsense like that mistake that throw me off.
Whoa futuristic! Complete with touch screens!!
This was actually kinda fucking cool! We almost have this now! I know LG is working on some screens like this, go KOREA!
And here it starts…
This is where my invested interest for the film starts to fall apart.
Yes this is Carrie Anne Moss, at the very height of her career, right after The Matrix.
I hope you are starting to notice something.
Because I did, and it started to ruin the movie for me…
Then I found it amusing.
And after a drink every time I noticed it, it became down right hilarious.
Like seriously, what is up with this chicks gaping mouth?
Every scene she’s in, it’s just wide open, like she’s totally out of breath.
Is this the origin of “duck face”? Doubtful, but I do have a few theories.
1.) She’s a mouth breather. Just can’t breath through her nose due to some sort of nasal damage, probably the “special” kind of damage only “actors” and “addicts” get. Right after The Martrix I’m sure she could finally afford that kind of “damage” now that she was every nerds wet dream of a woman for a brief moment. Oh Trinity…
2.) She has an abscess tooth or just fucking gnarly rotten teeth. Maybe she didn’t get paid that much after all and simply just let her teeth turn to rotten shit, with her expensive “habit” it’s very likely.
3.) Maybe she’s a little slow and can only breath this way. She looks slow…..
4.) Perhaps a botched lip job? This seems totally plausible, like if they injected her thin little lips with some crap to make them puffy, I’m sure they hurt like hell and closing your mouth might be painful.
Let’s face it, I know what you’re thinking and you know what I’m getting at.
5.) She sucked a FUCK TON OF COCK in order to even be in this piece of shit movie. Like everyone’s cock. Director, Producer, Assistants, Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, those other guys in the film I can’t remember, that old dude who dies early on, the robot. She probably sucked every god damn fat cock she could get her fucking ugly face on. Like this bitch can’t act whatsoever, don’t fool yourself. Her asshole has probably been fisted up, down, left and right from every casting agent from here to Miami and nobody remembers her from anything but The Matrix. Don’t kid yourself…..
You know it’s true. They’re all like that…..

Gimme a blowie Carrie: ★★★½☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

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