Well I said I was going to do it, so here’s Megaman II, as Julian Orbit I present to you my comprehensive guide and review on Megaman II and how I ended this 8-bit masterpiece in one sitting
First off, I guess I should have said before, I never played the Megaman series when I was a kid, I had almost every Nintendo game imaginable, yet these just sat around gathering more dust to blow out of the NES. More on that later. This is Woodman, he’s a chump and easy to kill, one blast with Heatman’s gun, and he’s done.
Ah Heatman, you look like a walking lighter. He’s pretty damn weak too, another one of Dr. Wiley’s chumps to blow through until the final showdown. Kill him with a couple shots from Bubbleman’s Bubblegun.
The aforementioned Bubbleman, now this dude is a bit rough, you can either jump his Bubbles and blast him with the default weapon or use whatever you got, I just blasted him.
This is Crashman, he shoots proximity mines or some shit at you. You also get this weapon afterwards which is only useful twice. Yay! More useless crap, he’s a total chump too, nail him with Airman’s tornado gun and he’s toast in two shots.
Airman, he has a giant fan in his chest and he’s a super annoying chump to fight. Not difficult, just annoying. Nail him a few times with some leaves and he’s done. I guess they clog up his fan, not trying to make a joke, just trying to deduce the logic behind it.
No idea what kills this chump, I just blasted him really quick, and he went down, far too easy.
This dude sucked, nail him with the Flash power, it knocks his ass out half way, then just bust him up. You get the boomerang afterwards which is actually useful, but it makes you pink and gay. The Japanese love Australia so I’m told.
Metalman, another disappointment, seriously the first game was way harder, these dudes are CHUMPS. No special weapon needed, just jump when he shoots, blast him, done, you get another useful weapon too. A sawblade gun. Sweet.
SO once you go through the hassle of the very short levels and killing those chumps and getting their weapons and a few upgrades from Dr. Light, Dr. Wiley shows up in a UFO. I guess that makes sense.
I guess this is where he lives, ominous.
No point in not putting your name all over the place when it’s your skull shaped hideout.
Even Megaman feels this jump was tedious and unnecessary, don’t worry Mega, we’ll get past it after about 30 tries.
An hour or so later, I got to fight a dragon, well you run away from the fucking dragon then shoot it with Heatman’s gun, because fire damages dragons?
I decided to ride the dragon instead because I was bored out of my mind by this point and felt like losing a life.
Exciting right?
Oh fun a living tank beast, oh wait, stand on it and shoot it in the head like five times and it explodes, yawn. At least the artwork in this one is a bit better.
What a surprise! Now you get to fight all of those chumps over again! Sweet! Just like part one!
Megaman sighs as he has to fight this fool again, for fun I thought I’d use his own weapon against him, killed him in a single shot, and he left some energy behind! I wished part one did that because I was ready to throw my NES like a spoiled child in 1989!
Flashman’s back! He does a dance and I shot him with a few bubbles, seeya buddy!
Bubbles, again.
You know the drill, leaves.
I tried to fight him with his own dildos and pink garter belt, but he kicked my ass pretty bad, lol. Same procedure as before.
Death by tornado gun, again!
Oh no we’re underwater, Megaman doesn’t approve and falls asleep as Bubbleman blows.
By this time I was so bored it was time to light up a fat joint. Megaman then put on Bananaman’s outfit and shot his banana rifle at Woodman who threw bushes at us. Overall more entertaining.
I forgot to upload the other picture, oh well, a portal appears and then you go here. To fight this thing. One shot does it.
This part was pretty trippy, I was like, “Tha fuck…..”
Yep, Dr. Faggot turns into an alien. Nice Capcom, nice.
Being stoned, the only gun I wanted to use was the bubble gun, and it cleaned up on that alien homo pretty quick, turns out its a Wizard of Oz ending. I don’t think I’m the only one who was stoned.
SO once again, he bows down and begs for forgiveness, seriously why can’t I just shoot a saw blade through his skull and end this shit now?
Last time he ran, this time he walks. To show you just how bored even Megaman was being a part of this.
Hmmm… that looks like a good place to get some beer.
The fucking end. Overall I can see why these are such cult classics, I mean, I vowed to play as many as possible before the end of the month, so its not all bad. I just didn’t feel it with game, the music was excellent, the bosses weren’t too bad, and the difficulty obviously wasn’t off the charts like so many games of this era. Replay value is definitely there, but I have a stack of these to get through. I will say this much, I was so bored at times, I never once threatened my NES or screamed in frustration, it was kinda zen like and relaxing.

Mega Bored: ★★★★★★★★½☆☆☆☆ 

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