An oldy but a goodie? Or a giant disappointment followed by repressed memories of what I thought was a classic film. Find out more as we go on a slow picture adventure.
Rory Cochrane plays Lucas, the main character, so to speak, in this teen mellow-drama about how pure and awesome it is to make minimum wage working at an independent record store. Yep totally awesome guys! Struggling to the pay the rent, having fuck all spending money and no food is a dream come true! He was better as Slater in that other movie set in the 70’s. Dazed or something
Debi Mazer play’s Jane, a 30 something music producer or some shit. She looks pretty damn cute in this, unlike on Entourage where she’s always pregnant and angry. Still hot though.
Anthony LaPaglia plays Joe, the manager of the so called, “Empire Records”
From what we can gather through associative dialogue he is Lucas’s guardian or adoptive parent, and if you want to get creative, maybe even something a little more? Anyhow, I totally thought he was the dick head character from The Godfather III, but it turns out, he’s not! Since I’ve only seen that piece of work only once, and vowed to never see it again, I thought I had him pegged. Sorry man. He was also in Happy Feet!
Robin Tunney plays Debra a suicidal rich girl that cuts herself in the name of rebellion and attention. The need to be different is deep in this one. I see no reason for her to complain (the character) fucking bitch, she has a sweet Vespa, and the rocker dude or whatever from the store is her boyfriend. Yeah, we had Emo’s in the 1990’s, guess nobody gave a shit back then though. I need some euro cut jeans…. Oh yeah! She gets killed on Prison Break! Remember that show? First season was pretty good. Oh well, she’s pretty damn cute and sweet looking. Maybe she just needs a hug?
Maxwell Caulfield, plays Rex Manning, some kind of top 40 pop star that hunts down jail bait and bangs them in the copy room of independent record stores. He acts like a douche and has little high school girls throwing themselves at him. Man I fucked this whole review up. Renée Zellweger is in this film and totally:

  1. Gets partially nude
  2. Does this guy in the copy room
  3. Doesn’t look fat and chunky

I didn’t get screenshots of that, dammit. Instead I got a shot of some guy I have never heard of.

And finally what we have all been waiting for, a shot of Liv Tyler’s possibly Jail Bait camel toe. Since the movie was released in 1995, and she was born in 1977, wouldn’t that have made her around 16-17 during shooting, damn rights it does, thus we have some JB cameltoe on screen. Does this excite me? *no comment* is she smoking fucking hot? Hell yeah, and was 18 when this was released so suck it. Her dad must be pretty damn cool.
I don’t have much to say about this film, its fast paced, with a ludicrous plot and really goes nowhere and in the end very little changes. Sure they stick it to the man, and go off on their merry little ways, two characters goto college, some probably still work there, now in their middle 30’s wishing they had done more with their lives. Great walk down memory lane for this guy, I used to put this VHS tape on, on Saturday afternoons while I would program in c++, as some kind of background distraction noise. And it still is. I have been informed that there is a Remix Fan DVD out there, so sometime I’ll check it out and get some nearly nude shots of a young Bridget Jones for everyone.

Memory lane: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ 

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