What to say, what to say. Well this movie was actually kind of boring; moments where you keep saying, why do that, why not just do the logical thing and end this. Here’s Kate Beckinsale looking and acting like a bitch, which must be a far stretch for her acting range.
She actually doesn’t look too bad right here. But after seeing her previous work, I just expect skin tight latex body suits. I see no other reason to watch her on the screen. Maybe a nurses outfit?
Poor Luke, one of the two Texan Wilson brothers, I actually enjoy most of their work. I am going to give that a heavy MOST to be honest. But this wasn’t no Bottle Rocket or Old School. I’d put it just above My Dog Skip as far as acting and entertainment value go.
Hey, remember that cool skater stoner guy from Empire Records? Or the main character from Can’t Hardly Wait? No? Well I do, but that’s my issue altogether. Damn is he going bald… The sands of time haven’t been kind to you Ethan Embry. I watched a lot of the movies he was in at the turn of the century, see that’s when I was in college, and those kinds of flicks would be $3 at the used book store on VHS. We’d kick back, smoke something or other, and watch those new “TEEN” type flicks, that all seem to deal with coming of age and finding your own boring ass story lines that were done to death back then. This paragraph no longer has a point or precedence, so I’m just going to end it.
Holy fuck, it’s Frank Whaley! Well, Frank, I just saw Career Opportunities, for the thousandth time on television; was just wondering what the hell happened to this guy? I remember being eleven thinking, “I bet my brother would beat the piss out of a guy like that.”
And now when I see that piece of shit movie with that unibrow chick that did the ass-to-ass double dildo for heroin scene in that other movie, I think, “I’d really like to beat the piss out of that guy.”
Thus being a full grown man now, no longer needing my brother(s) to fight my battles, the circle of life is complete. Back to talking shit; I see no work that he’d done since that movie, that I would have actually bothered watching, so that’s where he’s been. Obscurity. To be “frank” no pun intended, I bet he’s a nice guy and lives a compfortable middle class lifestyle, and which one you can say the same? Huh? Simba?
And that’s it folks, I really got nothing more to say, so I hope you enjoyed the visual shit talking. This movie wasn’t bad. It did the job of keeping me entertained as I worked off a hangover, and really do I need more from it? Well yeah, I do. Fuck yeah, I do. If they want to stop movie piracy, make better movies worth watching and buying, otherwise shut your fucking mouth and take it as a complement when somebody downloads shit like this. Do I recommend it? That’s the odd part, I do! I’m on the line about this one, I hated it, and would watch it again when I’m lying on the couch like a dehydrated sea mammal with a headache.

In the middle: ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆ 

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