Everyone knows I love horror flicks, I do, I really do. I tried to enjoy this low budget piece, based on some of Poe’s writing, but man…. the only thing keeping me even slightly interested was the smoking hot chicks in this.

So let’s start off with the main protagonist, this is Jonathan, played by Wes Bentley. He wasn’t bad, I guess, but I’ve also never heard of him and didn’t give a crap about his character. Hopefully he’ll get some better scripts after this, but at 32 years old, he might as well go get that bartending certificate that he keeps telling himself he can fall back on. Or not! Up to you Wes. The world is your oyster bro.
Micheal Madsen plays a fat old drunk with a big mouth. Remember Reservoir Dogs? Well this ain’t anywhere near it. I swear in some of his lines, he’s either drunk for real, or about to crack up laughing.
Eric Roberts shows up to collect a paycheck. I guess this isn’t his Best of The Best, but it’ll pay the rent.
On to the hotties, Sofya Skya plays Ligeia Romanova, I guess what this movie is all about. I’m just totally distracted by how amazingly hot she is to even pay attention to this piece of crap. On further inspection (stalking) she’s a Russian ballerina to boot… Holy mother of god, the hotness level on this chick is through the roof. Her voice sends chills down my back, wow!!! Being athletic myself, I am just naturally drawn to strength and power, she’s got it all, baby!
This pic’s a lot better. Damn!
Not to be outdone in the hotness department, Kaitlin Doubleday shows up looking pretty damn smoking at the end. She was in Waiting and Accepted, and I guess she dated the “I’m a Mac” guy. Whenever you wanna upgrade to a “PC” I’m waiting right here.
****Edit**** Well I wasn’t going to say anything about this chick. Throughout the film, she portrays a little girl, but at the same time I was like, “Hmmm…. she’s pretty fucking hot too!”
Not wanting to look like a freak, I decided to look her up. Well, she’s 21, and that’s legal, so fuck that shit. She’s pretty damn cute, and I can’t believe she was the little girl (Ruthie) on 7th Heaven, a show that I would scream at my TV if it ever came on, and promptly turn it off. Well, Ruthie’s all grown up. She needs more screen time.
And that’s that. The movie sucks, but the chicks are almost worth boring yourself through it. I really wish there was some nudity, but at the same time, I don’t. It would really ruin the hotness of these two chicks. I’d still do some mushroom’s with Eric Roberts via. Entourage – Tree Trippers.

Blah: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

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