Psssst… Do you like jailbait? Do you like watching jailbait clam bump? Well you picked the wrong movie. Although there are some scenes like that, and you might anticipate more. It never delivers the goods. Oh well, it’s supposed to be about The Runaways so deal with it you sick bastard.

So…. We got Dakota Fanning, the cute little precocious woman-child from such classic’s as: I am Sam, Taken, War of The Worlds, and Push. Well now she’s playing a big girl role, despite being 16 and probably only 15 when this was filmed. I gotta say, she’s starting to look *cough* never mind.. she’s not technically Jail Bait up here in Canada, but down south you good ‘ol boys better be closing your eyes and acting disgraced. Thoughout the film she’s shown in lingerie, short shorts, and other typical 70′s clothing for young girls. Oh and there’s sex scenes, LESBIAN SEX SCENES in roller skates…. not that anyone has a roller skate fetish around here….

Next up we have Kristen Stewart playing the role of Joan Jett, the female lesbian rocker that used to sing about dimes, boys and jukeboxes. And I have to tell you, she does an exceptional job convincing me she’s a lesbian rocker. Seriously, I couldn’t even tell she was acting! It was just so smooth and natural for her, unlike the Twilight Series, where I just couldn’t believe she actually was in love with that guy. She really pulled this role off and convinced me she was a drug riddled lesbian rocker out to show the boys a thing or two. She even had that whole, “Now that I’m a dyke I have to sound like a boy” voice thing going on, my friend Jen (jen the dyke) used to talk like that in Highschool, so we’d all accept her as one of the guys. Stewart REALLY convinces me she did her homework for this role, and pulled it off flawlessly.

Stella Maeve plays drummer Sandy West and is excellent in this film. I remember her from Transamerica and now she’s starting to grow up and look fine. This is a photo of her sitting on the toilet reading men’s magazines

Here’s Sandy masturbating in the shower after reading the porn mags. Joan Jett instructs her on how to reach a climax by thinking about Farrah Fawcett, and rubbing herself with a showerhead. What a good wholesome scene that really shows the relationships between women. Much approved.
So what’s left to say, well it’s a seriously tired formulaic pile of crap after a few scenes. The rockstars rise to the top, burn out on drugs and partying, the band might not make it, someone dies/leaves/over doses/gets pregnant, etc etc etc, blah blah blah. Seen it waaay too many times now. This leaves nothing to be desired and no room for improvement. So here are some of the best lesbian moments in the film. Please enjoy. There is no nudiy, as I stated earlier, Dakota is only 16, probably 15 when this was filmed, and that would be child pornography. So just enjoy the god damn psudeo jailbait make out scenes and before you know it she’ll be 18 and have her tits up on the big screen like every other “artist” in Hollywood.

Movie Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ 

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